Thursday, May 2, 2013

Going Through the Motions

Good Evening everyone! Although my past 2 days have been emotionally draining. To begin and end yesterday, A family therapist came out and practically gave permission for my mother and sister to rip out on me like a pack of hyenas. "I'm selfish, I have an attitude, I hold my father on a pedestal (family divorce since I was 8)" and much more. Let's say I went to my room a bawled for about an hour until I had to be decent again and go to church. AH! My church, Quarry, God is the thing I need to live, and I'm not joking either. Without my weekly QSM, I'm toast. Of course Sunday's and random events help too but I need a group of people just praising God and nothing else matters. I find I feel like I belong there. I do. I wont go in to too much details but the topic of the night was "What is church? And why do we need it?" It was very good (as per usual) and I learned a few new things. The worst news of all was the fact the boy I have been secretly liking from afar, asked a girl to prom. The worst part is, I wasn't even upset. I smiled and I really was happy for him. I was oddly calm over the whole debacle. I don't know what this means but I'm really shocked, that's all.

Today, now today was great. NOT. I seriously felt so emotionally drained I wanted to curl up and die on the spot (okay, dramatization, but still). Things felt off, I just went through the motions and that was that. Along with I drove on the free-way for my second time driving ever, very well. Then I had therapy, my own, from my eating disorder, of which appointments are coming to a close here soon (yay!) I just felt like today I took a step back, not forward.

Later my mother and I went to Panera bread, so good! I had chicken noodle soup and half of a sandwich! Of which after we went to an amazing cupcake place and I had a lemon butter cream, also very good.

So well I have a ton of homework yet to accomplish (I'll more than likely not do it till tomorrow night)

I hope you're days went will, if not, the sun shines yet again tomorrow and a new day dawns.

With Love, Emily

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